The feeling of love won’t last long. What happens then? Love gradually fades, all the chemical processes in our body return to normal, and indifference sets in. For those who are not ready to put up with all this and want to learn how to revive a relationship or how to spice up your sex life, here are ten steps that can help bring old feelings back. Let’s get your love renewed.
1. Total recall
The easiest way to spice up the relationship and regain the feelings that once made you choose your spouse as a life partner is to return to the past. Your memories and feelings will help you. Everything you felt when she first took you by your hand, when you asked her out on a date, or when you kissed for the first time, serves as so-called psychological anchors.
These can be songs that you both loved, restaurants or parks where you spent your first weeks together. Try to observe what feelings you’re experiencing now when remembering all this. While viewing photos of your first joint holiday or weekend, tell each other about your feelings and think about what you both lack.
2. Accept each other completely
When reviving a relationship, you should accept each other as you are, with all the flaws and annoying habits. We know that there are no perfect people. At first, we don’t notice the shortcomings because love blinds us. But everyday life gradually opens our eyes and turns lovely character traits into horrors of living together. Some things don’t bring joy anymore, and something gets more and more difficult to tolerate.
For some time, we see only good qualities, and we love our partners for them. However, most strong and long-lasting relationships become successful because both partners know about each other’s flaws and accept them. How to renew love this way? First, talk about those character traits that both of you find annoying. Try not to offend your partner, explain that you appreciate her feelings, and you’re grateful for them. But there is something that can be changed for the better. The more compromises you find, the less irritation will remain between you. It’s totally up to you to decide which flaws to fight and which ones to ignore. Try to figure this out without emotions and mutual accusations.
3. Create something new
A trip to your past may not be enough. After all, the evening of memories will end, and you’ll have to return to everyday life. Life takes away strength, and feelings fade. Years after they first met, couples begin to lack the sensation of novelty, which so excited and enthralled them in the beginning. In addition to memories of the past, you can come up with new traditions for your family, creating a pleasant experience for both of you.
It’s so easy to spend the whole weekend at home watching Netflix. But it’s not the best way to bring back emotions you want to experience again. Undoubtedly, any attempt to spice up relationships, even not the most successful ones, is better than doing nothing. But it’s more important to try to understand what you can give each other here and now. The experience gained from breaking up teaches us to appreciate what we lost, and this is not just passion. After a divorce, ex-spouses regret such simple things as communication and care. Try to understand what you would miss about your partner the most; this can become a solid basis for your quest to get the old feelings revived.
4. Understand the changes that happened to you
Missing our past feelings, we remember ourselves as the people we once were. It’s not always possible to understand how people changed at once, but it’s important to understand that it was relationships that made them different. If you had another partner, you wouldn’t be the same as you are now. Adulthood and wisdom are necessary stages in life; otherwise, we would all remain naive and infantile. Remember it if you want to know how to spice up a relationship.
5. Miss each other
Can you remember the last time you missed each other? Try to recall those times when you waited for the next date and shuddered from any phone call. It’s difficult to miss someone in the modern world: the Internet and a lot of gadgets create the illusion of full-fledged communication and presence. But you can still try. Just agree not to bother each other for a while and talk only when there‘s something really important to say. Move a bit away from each other to become closer.
6. Keep your problems away from home
Don’t drag all your problems home. Don’t bring documents you didn’t have time to check at work to your house. Try to avoid long phone calls. If you’re expecting an important call, use an answering machine to save a lot of precious time and stop wasting it on trivial matters. This way you can focus on each other.
7. Sex is of the essence
Sure, sex at thirty is not like sex at eighteen. When you’re young, everything is much easier: the blood is full of hormones, getting up early in the morning after a sleepless night is not a problem, there are big hopes and plans ahead, and you’re as beautiful as a Greek god.
Over the years, self-confidence goes away along with beauty, all your energy is consumed by concerns about the family, the body itself begs for an extra hour for sleep, and you have no time even for thoughts about spicing up sex life.
But still, sexual satisfaction is primarily related to overall satisfaction with marriage. If the spouses are satisfied with their intimate relationships, this creates a background on which their relationships develop in other spheres. This background affects the success of these relationships, and satisfaction with sex, in turn, depends on these relationships. Therefore, try to add sex to your family life.
8. Avoid monotony in bed
According to sexologists, the most common mistake couples make in bed is sticking to the same scenario in sex life. Sooner or later there comes a moment when one partner realizes that he/she knows a lot about the sexual preferences of his/her spouse, and sticks only to them during sex.
Think about it: if you feed someone with fried potatoes (pineapples, shrimps) every day, at some point, a single mentioning about this product will make this person sick. So my point is that the “menu” needs to be diversified with new ideas to spice up sex life from time to time.
9. Don’t impose relationships on your partner
As practice shows, the first thing that men do when noticing that the feelings began to fade away, is start indulging their partners with gifts and talking about how great their relationship can be. In this situation, men become vulnerable; they’re simply lost and begin doing something to save their feelings, guided by their emotions. But you need a cold head here. You need to understand that giving a bunch of expensive presents won’t solve all problems.
10. Keep your jealousy under control
When a man is constantly jealous of each passer-by, sooner or later his partner gets mad at him. Perhaps it’s the reason for all te problems in your relationships. If not, then maybe it’s worth being jealous at least a little.
The thing is that if you are not jealous at all, your soul mate might think that you just don’t care where and with whom she may be. If you’re too jealous, on the other hand, she may find that you don’t trust her. That’s why you need to find a golden mean between these two extremes.