It is believed that older people don’t need sex. But actually, this is not always the case. For some, the interest in sex after 60 years of age remains quite strong. Others, having retired from work and such, discover for themselves all the charms of sex – for which previously there was neither strength, nor time, nor opportunity.
How Sex Life Changes After 60
To understand how feelings change with age, you need to go back to childhood a little. As a rule, most people have a platonic stage of love first – when in the kindergarten a boy likes a girl, he holds her by the hand and kisses on the cheek.
Then, at 14, the erotic stage begins – kisses, strokes, petting. And then, around 16-18 years old – this is when people actually have their first sex. With age, this all undergoes changes and goes in reverse order. For the elderly, the platonic stage becomes important. Often, you can see how grandparents sit together watching a movie or the sunset, while holding hands.
Therefore, experts advise with retirement and the emergence of free time to pay more attention to your spouse, to go somewhere together, to do something. Common empathy unites people. With age, men and women begin to value each other more, call it a deeper connection, being soul bond or whatever.
As a rule, older people are happier than younger ones. There is no need to make a career, no need to rush or worry about things, the time to relax and enjoy yourself has begun. You can finally take care of yourself and just be happy! This, in a way, makes for better sex after 60.
A career very much interferes with sex. People are trying to reach incredible heights, and there is no time left for love. It’s often like, “doctor, give me a pill so that I lose interest in women”. And then the relationships with women interfere with doing business.
But now the career is not so important, the children stood on their feet, and the woman, finally, can relax. A great many women aged 65–68 have a constant desire; sexual fantasies and thoughts about sex occur regularly.
And they resort to visiting doctors with the question: “What is wrong with me?” Sexologists have to reassure them that everything is in order, it’s alright, these are natural changes, the level of hormones increases.
With age, many people begin to regret lost opportunities. “Ah, only if… and I liked that thing, but it did not work out,”. “Oh, if only I had been a little bit pushier, maybe it would have been different,”. And they remember how many potential partners there were for them, but it’s too late.
If we talk about physiology, then with age, dozens of changes occur in men and women. In women, the skin and mucous become drier. In men, an erection becomes worse, sensitivity decreases, there is a need for additional oral and mechanical stimulation. The acts of love are more and more lengthened. And then there is a lower need for sexual activity.
Male Sex Drive After 60: Facts and Advice
I often hear that male sexual drive only increases with age. They say that male sex drive after 60 is at its peak. Like, check this guy out, recently, a 60-year-old Briton, Patrick Sloan again experienced the joy of fatherhood. His second wife, Joanna, 39 gave birth to a son. His adult daughter and granddaughter followed the example of Patrick. It turned out that in one year a man became both a father, a grandfather, and a great-grandfather at the same time!
Many women after 60 no longer need sex. Sex after 60 for females is usually rare. And a man needs it to his deathbed – if his temperament does not match with his female partner, then he masturbates or finds himself another woman. Sex after 60 for males seems to be just as important as in their 20s-30s.
Often, men are no longer interested in women of the same age as they are, they are looking for a lady of at least 10-15 years younger than them. And if you take the ratio of men and women, the lack of a stronger sex becomes more noticeable: for 2,500 thousand women at the age of 85, there are only 1,000 male peers.
Yet, in fact, there are some more depressing statistics, men seem to have a period of critical decline in the level of hormones in the blood. Previously, it was called male menopause, because during this recession the same phenomena were observed as in women during menopause: instability of blood pressure, irritability, poor sleep, depressive mood … Although, they are not as pronounced as in ladies.
A man, climbing the hormonal peak in his youth, descends from it gradually. The period of critical recession comes around the age of 60 – today it is called andropause, by analogy with female menopause. Andropause is determined by the hormonal level. At this time, the man has a sharply reduced attraction to women. He can have sexual intercourse, but he does not want to do it: too lazy to get up from the couch, break away from his favorite TV … Although, it is the regular sex after 60 for men that can maintain the level of hormones or ensure their smooth decline. Today, many studies have shown that during this period, if not sexual intercourse, then at least mutual affection should be there, if not caresses, then at least kisses should be in a relationship, and if there is nothing of the above, then at least talk about sex with friends. All this does not allow a man to quickly lose interest in intimate life and curtail sexual activity. To ignore sex as a part of life at such age is to bury it. You have to at least talk about it, mention it and show affection for each other.
Frequency of Sex After 60
The benefits of maintaining a frequency of sex after 60 were known in ancient times. According to the ancient Chinese philosophical doctrine of Tao, sex can delay the process of physical aging and prolong life, and therefore it is recommended as a medicine and a way of prevention of many diseases in the old age. The Taoists believed that the desire of intimacy with spouses who have lived together for many years does not fade away; on the contrary, harmonious sexual relations are possible only with the real affinity between spouses, which occurs over the years.
Modern scientists also consider sex as one of the factors of longevity. So, at the last gerontological conference in London, the results of a ten-year observation of 918 men aged from 45 to 60 years were presented. They were divided into three groups according to the frequency of sex. And it turned out that the most active men, who reached orgasm two or more times a week, had mortality rates half lower than those who had sex less than once a month or did not have it at all.
At the same conference, the data obtained by scientists of the University of Sheffield that active sex life strengthens health was presented. Prostate cancer is less common in men, and women are less likely to develop breast cancer. In addition, sex has a beneficial effect on digestion, and rhythmic movements and muscle contractions increase muscle tone.
There was also another recent study by the researchers at Coventry University in the UK. They advise people over 60 not to forget about having sex. They claim that intimacy has a positive effect on health and prevents dementia.
Scientists came to this conclusion in the course of the study, in which almost seven thousand people aged from 50 to 89 years took part. The subjects were given two lists – words and numbers. In the first case, the participants had to read ten words, then repeat them immediately and after five minutes. In the second, volunteers received a list of numbers, some of which were missing. Volunteers needed to restore the correct sequence. As a result, men who remained sexually active were 23% better on average with the first task and 3% with the second. In women, rates were 14% and 2%, respectively.
Thus, we can conclude that sexual activity after 60 years develops the cognitive function of the brain. According to experts, this process is promoted by the release of dopamine, which serves as an important part of the brain’s “reward system,” because it causes a feeling of pleasure, which affects the processes of motivation and learning.
Scientists advise having sex two or three times a week. At the same time, medical experts warn that heavy physical exertion in the form of an orgasm can have a disastrous effect on the health of the elderly, and recommend limiting it to two or three sexual acts per month. Regardless of frequency, no sex after 60 is harmful to your health.
Sex Positions After 60
Most likely, some sex positions after 60 will not be as comfortable as they were before, but this does not mean that you should quit the activity that you liked and miss the feeling of intimacy with your partner. Remember that this story is not only about intercourse or recreation of youth. The key to a wonderful sex life is to find what suits you now. Sex, at you age, will require some creativity. Use the following ideas for inspiration but don’t be afraid to come up with something of your own. Pick what works for you.
- How to have great sex after 60? Try a sex position that is comfortable and pleasant for both of you, taking into account your age. Men with an erection problem should try sex in positions in which a woman is on top – the gravity will do its job. Women should use a lubricant for help.
- Expand the meaning of sex. Do you want to have great sex after 60? Hold each other, gently touch, kiss and try sensual massages – all these are the ways to share passionate feelings. Try oral sex or masturbation to replace intercourse.
- Change the established routine. How to improve sex after 60? Simple creative changes will do. Changes in the time of day when you are having sex can add more energy. For example, try experiencing intimacy early in the morning, and not at the end of a long day.
- Love games and foreplay. Since it may take you and your partner more time to get excited, prepare the atmosphere for romance: arrange a romantic dinner or an evening dance. Or try to fondle or kiss each other a little longer.
- Playfulness with a partner is an important part of a good sex life at any age, but it especially true when having sex after 60. Tease or tickle your partner – do anything that brings fun. If there are physical and emotional issues that you are likely to encounter, such games will become a great way to help you both relax.