Decode what stands behind his actions using our quick guide
There are hundreds of thousands of guides for men who desperately try to understand the female nature. But what should girls know about their potential mates? We all know that a man should be characterised by his deeds, not by his words.
Nice simple phrases might signal about his overall politeness. Clichéd pickup lines probably indicate his desire for a one-night stand but not for a serious connection. When a guy isn’t very good at speaking or it’s just too early for him to confess, he subconsciously uses some other means to tell he likes you.
Science behind a body language
Zoologists and behaviorists conducted a series of studies dedicated to the process of wooing among animals. They found out that male and female animals use their body language when wooing. Some of them are overt and obvious while others are very subtle and are done unconsciously. People use body language to express their liking for the opposite sex too.
You must have noticed how some species of birds attract females: they make circles round them, make weird loud sounds, ruffle up their feathers, and make strange moves. A female bird shows little or no interest in this performance. Can you spot the resemblance? This ritual of wooing has much in common with the way men woo women. We tend to express our attitude towards people we like through the body language. If the objects of our interest are reciprocally interested in us, their body language will respond in the same way.
Person’s success in building relationships with the opposite sex largely depends on their ability to use the language of their bodies while flirting and to recognize and decipher the signs sent to them. Women are more sensitive to these signs, as they are more receptive to body language. Men are less receptive; some of them stay totally “blind” to all non-verbal signs. If a man mastered the art of non-verbal communication, women view him as a masculine and sexy man, the man who makes them feel womanly. Men, on the contrary, view him as an aggressive, conceited, and dishonest person – no wonder, it’s a competition.
Women have a richer body language. Some flirtatious or seducing gestures are being acquired through experience and observation while others are expressed unconsciously or automatically. It’s hard to explain where we learn these gestures, but there is a theory that says they are inborn.
In one work of a famous psychotherapist, it is said that when a person is around the representatives of the opposite sex, some psychological changes happen in them. Muscular tone increases and a person as if prepares for an upcoming sexual contact: straightens their shoulders, throws out their chest, gathers in their belly, their body becomes extended, and they look younger. The beach is an ideal place to observe this transformation. Men and women adjust their bodies when they pass by the opposite sex and relax once they are out of sight.
What this all is about
Communication basically divides into verbal and non-verbal; body language is considered to be one of the types of the latter. We use various gestures and body movements and positions analogically to words in order to express our mind. Sometimes, these hints convey even more valuable information than long sentences.
Why should you trust non-verbal signs? Since people say words consciously, they can control what they say, they can deliberately lie or withhold something. They can’t do the same trick with non-verbal signals. They tell everything about a person because they are uncontrollable; they are independent of one’s thoughts and plans. Therefore, person’s body language can show his or her real feelings.
According to psychologists, people convey only 7% of information while non-verbal signs communicate about 55%. Other 38% constitute different modifications of sound – intonation, tone, the pitch of voice, etc. Also, psychologists say that the famous female intuition is women’s inborn ability to detect non-verbal signals and decipher them, distinguish between different types of looks, shades, and intonations. Women are said to have this ability to recognize the needs and wants of their babies who can communicate those needs and wants only through different sounds.
Experienced couples often don’t need words to understand each other. Sometimes, a man realizes he did or said something wrong only by the way his woman looks at him.
So you’ve met a perfect boy who seems to be friendly and welcoming. How to distinguish his affection? To understand what he thinks about you, consider the only element that’s almost impossible to hide – unless he’s a professional physiognomist – his body language. It reveals the real feelings and emotions of any regular person.
Of course, different cultures offer different interpretations but there’s something universal. I’d like to focus on signs that reflect our basic instincts when a male struggles to attract a female. Now, learn how to read men and figure out what he really tries to show you.
- He runs his hand through his hair
Okay, but girls do it too. Do boys even care about their looks? Surprisingly, yes. Modern guys understand that hairstyle is an important part of an image. If you notice your love interest runs his fingers through his hair every single time he sees you coming, you’re on the right path!
- He slightly raises his eyebrows
This is a pretty common way people express surprise or interest. Watch out his facial movements during personal conversations especially when you discuss some trivia. If he lifts his eyebrows while listening to you, he is apparently keen on what you are talking about.
- He maintains the eye contact
Indeed, the eyes are the mirror of the soul. He doesn’t just stare at you. First, his gaze travels across your face and upper body. Then, he looks into your eyes for more than a few seconds. Pay attention to his pupils: if they’re widening, he’s certainly mad about you!
- He strokes his chin
Many guys habitually touch or stroke their faces. But they do so when they are attracted to someone too. If he’s got facial hair (especially a beard) and strokes it when you talk to him, he must be musing about your words.
- He touches his throat
Any man wants to make sure he’s irresistible. Don’t get astonished if he checks whether his tie stays in place or his collar looks neat. Besides, a neck is the erogenous zone of many people!
- His hands talk instead of him
Well, not literally. Just when he speaks with you, he actively gesticulates with his hands. Of course, this happens partially because he tackles subjects that deeply impress him. But he also must be excited because he sees your interest in him. Do you see how beneficial is it to be a good listener?
This is a solid way to get physically closer to a person you like. Does he help you get out of a car, go up- or downstairs? Does he stretch his hands towards you with his palms up? It means that he favours you.
- He turns his whole upper body to you
Especially when there are many people in the room, men tend to keep an eye on the entire atmosphere and everyone around them while women prefer more intimate communication. It is the sign he’s ready to focus on just you and nobody else.
- His hips don’t lie
Is his pelvis fully turned to you? This is the way males express their nature in the wild by demonstrating their very private parts. He may likewise touch his belt or hold his hands in pockets in order to make you notice his male power.
- He stands in front of you with his legs wide apart
Apart from exhibiting his genitals, he wants to prove his confidence which is surely one of the key manly traits. He tells you: “I am strong, masculine, decisive and ready for challenges”!
- He points his toes at you
Yes, not his fingers. That would be too obvious and not always relevant. Again, he might be not aware of these hints dropped by his body yet still eager to come closer to you.
- He tries to get closer to you
A man who is seriously into a woman normally does everything to the shorten distance between his love interest and him. If he leans towards you in public transport or in a crowded room, he obviously feels nice around you.
- Open position
Facing someone you dislike, you try to protect yourself. If he doesn’t cross his arms and legs while sitting or standing and doesn’t turn his face away from you, that’s a certain green flag.
- He finds an excuse to touch you
This is quite easy. If you know each other well enough, he might caress your palm, wrap his arm around your shoulder, or even pull your hair off your face.
- He mirrors your own body language
We’ve finally come to the most amazing hint. When a boy wants to impress you not only via long personal conversations and philosophical discussions, he imitates your body movements and reflects your positions. He can even synchronise his breathing rate and depth to yours.
Let’s sum it up
Body language plays a significant role in human relations including romantic. I hope you have the better understanding of the male psychology now. Have you already met the man of your dreams? Armed with this information, you will definitely be able to decode his behaviour and win his heart.
Keep the tabs on his non-verbal expressions and respond by mirroring those – in fact, you might already do it without being aware. There’s no need to imitate in a direct way, be subtle so he won’t even realise you are playing some game. Remain sincere, attentive, and secure about your charm!