Infidelity appeared at the moment when people got out of their caves and began to try to build a civilized society. No, don’t think that everyone was faithful to each other in the Stone Age. Simply such a term as infidelity didn’t exist because people that lived in those days didn’t create couples but freely had sex with each other. In general, infidelity came along with marriage. According to public opinion polls, every second man and every fourth woman has cheated on their partner at least once in their lives. Moreover, this sometimes happens even in happy marriages. So, why do people cheat in relationships and marriages? And how to tell if your wife is cheating on you?
Why people cheat in relationships
There are so many intrigues, betrayals, and deceptions in relationships. One of the types of deception is cheating, which is not uncommon in a relationship between a man and a woman. If you believe statistics, then every fourth married couple goes through this. But why do people cheat on each other? What pushes them to such a terrible act that destroys families, love, and human relationships?
1. “I felt something to a new partner.”
Analyzing the answers, the researchers came to the conclusion that the main reason why people decide to cheat is a lack of love. Almost 77% of respondents said that they no longer felt the love of their partners and it just made them look for tenderness from someone else.
2. “I was overwhelmed by passion.”
Perhaps our habits are very similar to animal ones because the second most common cause of cheating is that people “dream of a greater variety of sexual partners”. Researchers note that treason, therefore, may not depend on the behavior of a partner because even an ideal partner can feel uncomfortable because he/she just wants to be more free in own choice.
3. “I felt low affection to my partner.”
Why do men and women cheat? There is a fact that if one person loves and the second allows him/her to love in relationships, then the first is in the zone of high risk of being cheated. Many people admitted that they were pushed to cheating by the fact that they didn’t feel the emotional connection with their partners.
4. “I was drunk and not thinking clearly.”
In fact, the study showed that at least 70% of people cheated for this reason at least once. So, it’s important to be careful with alcohol. However, you can’t blame alcoholic drinks for infidelity. Psychologists confirm that alcohol, of course, changes your consciousness, but doesn’t make you another person. So, if you did it, then you wanted it.
5. “I just wanted to have sex.”
About a third of the participants in the study were confident that they cheated because they wanted to have sex at that very moment. It is interesting that the overwhelming majority of respondents who chose sex as the main cause of infidelity were men. At the same time, women that were in this group often said that they wanted “certain sex” because permanent partners couldn’t (or didn’t want to) give them those feelings that they needed in bed. Well, someone on the side, obviously, coped with this. So, take a closer look at your woman, you may notice the signs she is cheating.
Why people cheat in marriage
Infidelity of a loved one always hurts. This is a loss of affection, bitterness, disappointment, and again the question “Why?” Psychologists tell truth about what drives people to cheat in marriages:
1. “I fell in love with another person.”
Psychologists say that often infidelity occurs in families where one of the partners falls in love with another person. Moreover, often in such families, there was no love and there was nothing to destroy. Such marriages were either by convenience or by fear of loneliness or by pregnancy. So, don’t be surprised that your partner may run away to another person for getting feelings that he/she doesn’t feel with you.
2. “We had a child and my woman devoted all her time not to me.”
As a result, a man cheats on his wife to get attention, which he lacks in a family. A husband falls into an infantile state and a competing relationship with a baby for the attention of a woman. This is an extremely difficult, but very resourceful period in the life of any family and, having passed it sincerely and together, a couple can reach a very deep level of intimacy.
3. “We had the crisis of marriage.”
Crises occur in every marriage. Someone is looking for help in sports, someone in alcohol, someone sits at the negotiating table and tries to find a compromise, and someone prefers to have sex with someone else. Thus, they hope to relax and then they return to the partner and restore the relationship. Needless to say, what usually turns out of such a way to bring new feelings into marriage?
4. “I wanted revenge.”
This type of cheating is more inherent in women and this reason can be found in cheating wives stories. Infidelity often becomes a way for them to take revenge on men for their offense. Instead of talking and coming to a compromise, they find a lover, and they want to equalize the scores if they suspect partners in infidelity. Of course, this is not the best way since they don’t solve the problem but push it deeper.
5. “I knew that my parents also cheated on each other.”
For example: “My father had a mistress and my mother accepted this.” And now a person thinks that everything should be arranged in a marriage in a similar way. Or a woman cheats on her husband because he doesn’t fit the definition of the ideal man that her mother imposed on her, and, realizing that she can’t change it, she finds a lover.
Is flirting cheating?
What is bad in flirting? What is considered cheating? Some people can’t live without flirting with everyone around – they are cheerful, flexible, and they are bored to keep a chaste forever. But they are not going to cheat on their loved ones. On the other hand, usually their soulmates are very skeptical to this explanation and very often they are right: sometimes a person, playing like this, misses the moment when an innocent flirting begins to threaten relations. So, what exactly makes flirting so enjoyable?
First, it helps to be interesting for other people. Secondly, it helps to be more confident in your communicative abilities and the strength of the words you say. And, third, there is more confidence in own attractiveness.
Also, it is worth noting that there are different forms of flirting. At the first level, there is a harmless flirting – when you just talk to another person and notice a spark but don’t let this communication develop. This doesn’t imply any cunning. You just have fun. At the second level, there is physical flirting – it’s almost the same as harmless flirting, but a step higher. Here, body language and easy physical contact with a person are already involved. At the third level, there is already a sensual flirting – where everything starts to border with cunning. And this is the point where it is worthwhile to draw boundaries in relationships, but it is impossible to do since there are already unhealthy intentions to engage in sex with a person.
So, can you flirt if you are in a relationship? There is still no exact answer. It’s still a gray zone, about which you need to talk with your partner. Flirting has its advantages, but it can also spoil a relationship. You need to learn to balance everything and come up with a flirting system that will suit you and your partner. After all, only you two can determine for yourself whether to flirt or not. And indeed, why cheat on someone you love?
Is watching porn cheating?
Some girls watch porn together with their boyfriends, while others equate their curiosity to treason. In fact, watching porn videos is important. Many guys and girls thus learn new poses, techniques, excite fantasy, and just relax. But if watching a video like this is just a preview and nothing more for a man, then for a woman, such an action is seen as infidelity. That’s all. Yes, the most common reason for watching porn is an ordinary desire to relieve stress and look at other women, without which a man simply can’t exist.
Men have a clear distinction: relationships with their girlfriends and watching porn. It is a huge test for a man to live a life with one partner. Watching porn is a sublimation of his desires to be monogamous, that is, to have connections with many women. It’s not a secret that women also watch porn and buy porn magazines. Some hide this information because they tend to think that it is unworthy of a woman, others don’t hide their interest, but they don’t tell it everyone, although they don’t see anything shameful in this. In any case, everyone has a different opinion on this question. For example, we may agree that there is nothing reprehensible in watching pornography and it is not considered infidelity, but when we catch a partner on watching it, we feel completely different. This can lead to conflict because both partners can consider each other guilty. So, a sincere conversation about the importance of pornography is a big step in strengthening relationships and sexual satisfaction.
Cheating statistics
Do you constantly hear complaints that people cheat on each other? Do you suspect your partner in it? It is okay because there is the reason for this. Below you will find statistics on male and female adultery. You will find out who cheat more often and when exactly women and men decide on infidelity.
A new study sheds light on the key reasons why partners cheat on each other. In a survey of users of the popular dating site, it turned out that people tend to change not only to satisfy their sexual but also emotional needs:
- The results of the study, which involved 2,000 users, showed that 76% of unfaithful partners cheated solely to satisfy their sexual needs. In turn, 37% of respondents named the key cause of betrayal not sex but a desire to satisfy their emotional needs.
- Among the respondents, 70% of men changed constant partners at least once, and this indicator reached 40% among women.
- 20% of infidels had free ladies for a long time, while 57% of men had married ladies as mistresses.
- The prolonged absence of a husband or a wife forced 12% of men and 10% of women cheated during the absence of their soulmates.
- Alcoholic drinks became the reason of cheating for 15% of men and 7% of women.
- The majority (97%) of the infidels feels the pain of conscience for their behavior towards their wives and only 3% are ready to break up with their spouses and marry their mistresses.
- Don’t you still understand why cheating is bad? 80% of interviewed men and women stated that they didn’t consider it necessary to admit to cheating. Do you want to live a lie?
- Scientists came to the conclusion that faithful husbands and wives live 12 years longer than couples practicing infidelity. That is why cheating is bad in a relationship.
