Relationships between men and women do not always develop as simple as people would like. In the modern world, both men and women can take the initiative in relationships, and both sides should be prepared for the fact that a person can reject.
You might have faced a situation when people seem to feel sympathy for each other, they communicate very kindly and often help (for example, they are work colleagues). At the same time, a man does not ask a woman out on a date, and she believes that this happens because of his shyness or timidity (after all, his behavior is a bit more than just friendly).
And there is nothing wrong about inviting a colleague to drink a cup of cappuccino. But, having appointed a date herself, the woman receives a polite rejection. Of course, this situation can happen to every woman and man who is in search of their one and only. What to do in this case, how to get over rejection and continue the communication?
Why Doesn’t a Person Want to Date You?
Before one will start talking about the qualities of a crush and how to deal with rejection in love, you should understand the objective reasons why people can refuse to get acquainted and go on a date. As you know everyone has their own preferences and requirements, so even if you are the most charming person in the world, you still can face a romantic rejection because of the following reasons.
- It’s just not their day. Imagine a situation when a person broke their favorite cup in the morning, spilled coffee on the laptop, was late for work and dropped the phone. They are angry and schizy, and when you approach them and start talking about love, they don’t want anything. You just don’t have any chance today!
- You’re not their type. A person is always interested in potential partners with a slender body type, dark hair, and a mysterious look. All their partners were of that type, and they are looking for that person right now. And if a person of not their type approaches them and starts getting acquainted, then it is unlikely to cause a positive reaction. Of course, they will listen to you, but in the end, they will reject since there is no “chemistry” between you.
They have a beloved partner. If a person has a temporary partner with whom there are no serious relationships, then they will gladly get acquainted with you because they don’t treasure their partner. However, if they have a beloved partner whom the person loves, then you will have to find out how to deal with rejection.
Talking about you, it’s possible to say that your uncertainty and incorrect positioning (posture, gestures, a manner of communication) can scare off a potential partner. If you decide to approach a charming stranger, you should look like a successful and relaxed person who knows what they want and how to do that. When you start a conversation, you should look at the level of interest of the interocular. As a rule, the first 30 seconds of the talk will tell you everything, so you either continue talking or apologize and go about your business. In other words, you should show that you know how to deal with rejection from a crush, and any answer is okay for you because you’ve just decided to try your luck.
However, what do usually guys do? A man approaches the girl he likes, starts trembling, swallows saliva, shows trembling hands, begins to mumble something and says some “cool” words. The girl looks at him and thinks, “When will this insane man stop talking, and what does he really need from me?” Naturally, you face the need to find out how to deal with rejection from a woman.
How to Overcome Fear of Rejection?
Why is rejection always unpleasant? People perceive it as spit on their cheek. They believe that if they receive a rejection, that it automatically means that something is wrong with them. However, if you look at the rejection from the other side, you will see quite a different thing. Instead of seeing the mirror side of your own value in the context of relationships, try to perceive it as useful feedback that teaches you to be better. Be thankful that you were rejected because the person pointed out the weak sides of your approach. If you open your eyes wider, you will find an effective method to learn how to get acquainted better as well as how to get over rejection much easily. Of course, this will require you to carefully analyze the failure, but this is important for your further personal development.
Lower self-requirements to succeed
Most people put too much pressure on themselves when they meet an attractive stranger. They expect too much from dating when their goal should be extremely simple and clear. You should just get acquainted with the person, have a good time and, as a maximum, exchange contacts. Do not expect more from communication at this stage. For example, you should not think that the first acquaintance will inevitably lead you to sex or living together. If you try to control a goal that is so difficult for your level of communication, you will quickly fail.
Therefore, when you are going to approach a charming person, do not make yourself worry again. Your only criterion for success is a conversation with the person. If it took place, then you did your job. Even if the person reacts strangely to this communication, you will not worry about the result if you haven’t expected too much from it. You need a little practice, and you will stop worrying every time you come up to the interesting stranger. Over time, you will feel relief because the pressure will disappear, and you will calmly talk to the strangers, and they will quickly make contact.
Set a goal to get rejected
There is such a concept in psychology as “rejection therapy.” It works great if you are an entrepreneur or a seller. The idea of this “therapy” is simple, you need to make a person reject you. You should practice it daily. Looks crazy, doesn’t it? However, this technique works, especially in cases of overcoming rejection and social fears. If you strive for rejection, then success comes to you as a by-product of rejection. Many famous writers had received a lot of rejections before they finally published their books that became bestsellers. Among these writers are Stephen King and Joanne Rowling.
Rejection is a filter for compatibility
More than 6 billion people live in the world. They all have different values, interests, hobbies, and characters. Somewhere there are your people, who can be your ideal friends and partners. However, most people will be unpleasant to you, and you will be unpleasant to them, and this is normal. Therefore, the very fact of “rejection” is an opportunity to adjust your social course. It helps sort people out according to the kinship of souls. A man should know how to deal with rejection from a girl because if she rejected you, then probably you would be bad with her because she is not your soulmate. When someone rejects you, you should be grateful to nature that you were saved from wasting time because it means that you will connect your life with a more suitable person, and not with the one who destroys your soul. Think about it, getting over rejection.
How to Deal with Rejection from a Guy?
Not every guy knows how to deal with rejection from a girl, but the alike situation is even much more complicated for charming ladies. It’s difficult not to take it personally, especially if it is about a romantic relationship. A woman gets the feeling that she is not good enough, and she cannot even imagine how to deal with rejection from a man. Here is a short list of things you should say to yourself, dealing with rejection.
These are just statistics
Anyone who is searching and taking the initiative can face rejections. A specific failure says nothing about you, it’s just statistics. Only the one who does nothing can avoid failure. Understanding that rejection is a common thing that happens to everyone will help you not give up and try again. Ask 100 people about anything, and there is someone among them who will be interested. And you drew attention to one, and you are surprised that your sympathies did not coincide. The best way to deal with rejection is to do it quickly. Be positive, move on and do not dwell on someone who is not interested in you.
Attraction is a subjective thing
It is easier to survive rejection when a man has an objective reason, for example, sympathy for another girl or unwillingness to enter into a relationship right now. Try to forget if you are not just his type. However, this phrase says nothing about you as well. One guy can fall in love with a girl for a reason which another man considers a disadvantage. The point is not that something is wrong with you, it’s just about the personal preferences of a particular guy. You cannot change his tastes, but you are able not to take them personally.
If a man rejects you, he does not suit you
It may have seemed to you that you have a lot in common, and this guy is the perfect match and the man of your dreams. However, the fact of failure says that you were mistaken. He is not able to appreciate you, and this is an obvious sign that a person does not suit you. You hardly want to be with someone who needs to be convinced that you are worthy of love.
You have an infinite number of options
An important thought that will help you answer the question, “How to deal with rejection from a guy?” is that there isn’t only one soulmate. There are billions of men in the world and if you think that only one of them suits you, you have problems with mathematics. What does prevent you from seeing how many interesting guys are around? Maybe the very thing is about an obsession with the only one who does not want to be with you.
Everyone faces rejection
Treat any trouble easier when you realize that you are not unique in your misfortune. Kylie Minogue, Demi Moore, Naomi Campbell, and other desired women faced rejections, betrayal, and other typical relationship problems. This is not a reason to gloat over the misfortunes of others, but the opportunity to remind ourselves that getting a rejection from a man you like is also a part of life.
One day you’ll be glad that it has happened
We are relieved to remember all the failures, rejections, painful breakups when we find harmonious healthy relationships. The guy who has rejected you gives you a chance to meet someone who will truly appreciate and satisfy you. Rejection is a new beginning and a new chance.
Getting rid of illusions
Mentally thank this man for the rejection. In fact, this rejection helps you get rid of illusions. After all, if it were not for this situation, you would continue to spend your time on someone who doesn’t really like you or consider you not so cute to ask you out on a date. However, now you clearly understand how they treat you, and you can move on with a calm soul. Often, without noticing it, women are so deeply immersed in a feeling of sympathy for a man that they do not notice the real possibilities of starting a real romance instead of “made-up” relationships.
