When two people are falling in love with each other, they barely notice any problems. But as soon as they begin to live together, those “small” problems reveal themselves and may spoil the life of the partners. This happens because, after some time, the partner already seems more real, and you begin to notice their weaknesses and those less attractive qualities. If dealing with small problems, such as dirty socks all over the house, doesn’t seem like a very big problem, then what if your partner has turned to be not as good as you think he or she was. In this case, you should analyze the differences between you two and see what you can do to avoid “sharp edges” of your personalities. But first of all, you should know what an unhealthy relationship is.
What Is an Unhealthy Relationship?
In various cultures, unhealthy relations have many names. We are not going to provide all those names because this is not important. But, nevertheless, it is crucial for you to understand what type of relationships can be called an unhealthy relationship. First of all, you must, in your imagination, compare relationships with health. When something is healthy, it prolongs your life and generally makes it better, while unhealthy things are very close to pain and suffering. The same happens in your romantic life. But with one major difference. Unhealthy relationships lead to moral and emotional pain. But both of them are very dangerous to every human being. An unhealthy lifestyle kills your body, while an unhealthy relationship kills your soul. As you can see, this is a very important and dangerous matter. Thus, we are going to provide you with a small list of signs of an unhealthy relationship.
Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship
Unfortunately, most people have a hard time realizing that they actually have an unhealthy relationship. They search for various unhealthy relationship quotes and try to apply them to their own relationships, but as a result, they begin to believe that their relationships are pretty normal, and they stop trying to change it. But this is a big mistake. Remember, it is better to live alone than having an unhealthy relationship. To help you understand what kind of relationships you have with your current partner, we have made the list of unhealthy relationship characteristics and signs.
1. You don’t feel joy and happiness
The main purpose of dating is having fun, and if you don’t have fun when you spend time with your partner, then it means that you have problems. Even more, if your happiness seems to disappear, and such a romance doesn’t inspire you anymore, and instead of feeling inspired, you feel depressed, then you know for sure that you are suffering from an unhealthy relationship. Don’t neglect your happiness for the sake of something. Remember, happiness is the most important thing in your life.
2. All attempts to change your relationship fail
It is absolutely normal for people to argue time after time because argues are a very important part of our lives. With the help of arguments, we solve problems and release tension. This is the most effective tool for how two people can improve their relationships. But this tool works only in healthy relationships. Otherwise, all your attempts to begin even a very calm conversation will fail and will only lead to anger and irritation. This is a clear sign that your relationships are not healthy.
3. Your partner reacts on your successes with aggression, envy, and dissatisfaction
In standard relationships, two people are happy for each other if one of them achieves success. Normally, people in a couple feel like a team or like a single organism. Your left-hand doesn’t hate the right one when it successfully delivers a spoon into your mouth, right? Maybe this example is very simple, but it is easy to understand what we mean. If you are not ready to always support your partner, and your partner doesn’t support you, then maybe it is a time to reconsider your relationship.
4. Your mood changes frequently
When people generally feel happy, they may be disappointed by some small problems, but those will never make them feel unhappy. If you feel that your mood changes too often and too drastically in your relationship, then you definitely have some big problems. Are you never sure what to expect from him or her? Are you always on the alert? Congratulations, you are on the right track to the neurosis because of your unhealthy relationships.
5. Your partner ignores you
We all have the right to receive any feedback in any relationship. If your partner becomes very cold to you and seems to absolutely ignore you, then this is how you now that he or she is an abuser or a sociopath. These are people with whom there can be no healthy relationships ever.
6. Your partner wants to control you
This process may take a long period to develop, but at some point, in your life, you may find yourself in a position when you are completely under your partner’s control. At first, you feel that sharing everything is a very good idea, and it really is, but only if you can defend your borders, and your partner doesn’t have the desire to control you.
7. You feel sick and constantly have new illnesses
Remember, your body is very wisely designed, and it always reacts to the fact that something is going wrong. Unhealthy relationships can easily lead to problems with physical health. This all happens because of neural stress caused by your partner. This is really a very big problem because people spend thousands of dollars visiting the best doctors and consuming the best medicine but all in vain. While the reason for their poor physical health conditions lies in absolutely different aspects of their lives.
8. Distrust and jealousy
First of all, we must mention that feeling jealous is utterly normal. Every human being feels bad when something that is considered to be “his or her own” may be stolen, especially when we are talking about love. But the big difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships is that in the first case, trust compensates natural human jealousness, while in the second case, distrust adds more fuel to the fire of jealousy. This always ends up with a breakup, and usually with a very hard one. So, if there is distrust between you and your partner, but you still love him or her, then you definitely should find the reasons for this problem and fix it as soon as possible.
Healthy Vs Unhealthy Relationships
When you have healthy relationships, then both you and your partner, feel nice and you can spend time together with pleasure. You both feel equal and important for each other. You both want to spend time together, and don’t want to stay away for too long. There are many warning signs of an unhealthy relationship, and happiness is the best of them. Don’t ask yourself, “Is my relationship unhealthy?” But ask yourself, “Am I happy in my relationships?” Happiness is the best sign that immediately indicates that your relationships are nice and healthy. Your unhappiness is the biggest sign on the list of unhealthy relationship signs. Plus, no one can feel happy if they don’t feel protected.
As you may already have guessed, an unhappy relationship is quite the opposite in every way. When it goes to comparing healthy vs unhealthy relationships, you must know that you should avoid having unhealthy relationships by every mean. Because healthy and unhealthy relationships influence people quite differently. First of all, you must know that in a healthy relationship you will feel better, more energetic and you will have the desire to achieve something new. While in an unhealthy relationship, you will suffer from apathy, and the whole world will seem black and dark for you. This happens because humans are very social creatures, we draw energy from one another, especially from our partner. When we are happy, we draw positive energy, but when we feel sad, we take a negative one.
How to Fix an Unhealthy Relationship
Now, when you know the main types of unhealthy relationships and major unhealthy relationship signs, you can clearly see that you have some problems in your own life. If you have got in this situation, then you should know that the best way to deal with this problem is to leave your partner. We understand that this is not always possible, but if your relationships are not very healthy, but not yet completely unhealthy, then you may try to fix your problems.
The best way to fix problems in relationships between two people is to have a conversation. Ideally, your partner should be the closes person for you. Thus, you don’t have to be afraid to talk to him or her. You should never think that you can fix your partner. This is the biggest mistake. Only by making an independent decision and starting to work on ourselves, each of us can correct our character, but the message must come from within, and not from someone. Nevertheless, you can try to talk seriously, or at least say about discomfort. Don’t endure tyranny, and never hope that everything goes away by itself. You must understand that this situation will remain until the end of your life unless you do something about it. True love is truly indestructible, and if this person is your destiny, then together, you will correct the situation.
How to Get out of an Unhealthy Relationship
Unfortunately, it is very hard to fix unhealthy relationships. This is why so many people think about ending an unhealthy relationship. But how to end an unhealthy relationship? This is not going to be easy, after all, you have been with this person for a very long time and probably still love him or her. But first of all, you must realize that there is no other way, except for leaving. The second thing to understand is that without respecting yourself, you will never be able to leave your partner. Because he or she will always find ways to blame you for all the problems in your relationships. In this case, you will end up feeling like you are guilty of everything. While in reality, you are a victim.
Here is a small guide on how to leave an unhealthy relationship
- Work on your self-esteem and learn to respect yourself.
- Tell your closest friends and relatives that you have problems in your relationships and considering leaving. This will help you make a final decision.
- Make a final decision. Remember, you need very strong power of will only for a very short period, then your self-respect substitutes it and helps you follow your decision.
- Think about all the material and financial matters and leave your partner.
This process is not going to be easy. Breaking up is always a very hard thing, especially when you want to put to the end your unhealthy relationships. While letting go of unhealthy relationships, you should avoid being alone. Hang out with your friends and relatives, search for new hobbies, travel to some new country. Ideally, you have to substitute your negative emotions with positive ones.