World literature is full of romantic works in which the characters retain love and loyalty to each other through the years and distances. And wise people say that all this is a fairy tale and long-distance relationships die quickly. But here that magic called love comes to the rescue. It is possible to be in such a relationship for various reasons. Someone has love affairs on the Internet, another one has found a soulmate at the resort and now has international love, while others suddenly get a job with frequent business trips. But still, there are ways to help deal with the separation and save a relationship.
Advantages and Disadvantages of a Long-Range Relationship
In fact, a lot of people, being far from each other, date and maintain quite normal relationships. Have you ever had such an experience when you met a person, fell in love with him or her, and then the fate turned in such a way that you or your soulmate had to go to another city, country, or another continent? If yes, then you might know that this state is close to a depression. What to do in this case? Is there a future for such relationships? Or will it lead to the fact that long-distance relationships break up? We hurry to reassure you that such relationships have both pluses and minuses, which you shouldn’t forget about. Here are just some of them.
Advantages of a Long-Distance Relationship
- Life together can quickly destroy feelings. Long-term relationships are based not on great love but on some common business, interests, the influence of relatives or love of children.
- You have the opportunity to experience a range of feelings. Your life becomes more saturated. Now everything is so practical, and any suffering is a waste of energy. But in anticipation of the meeting, you are experiencing a great emotional upswing, and your feelings are flaming up with a new force.
- You feel freedom and independence. For some people, distance is an incentive for new heights and achievements. And if you are afraid of loneliness, and it’s more comfortable for you to fall asleep on someone’s shoulder, then such love is not for you.
Disadvantages of a Long-Range Relationship
- Different expectations. People can perceive such relationships differently. For one, it can be a “painful tragedy,” while for another partner it can mean “one year’s vacation.”
- Feeling of loneliness. No one likes to be abandoned, and this feeling is especially strong when one of the partners goes somewhere for a long time. The time before departure is overshadowed with the upcoming separation. As a result, sad feelings can start driving a couple. Of course, there can appear an increased sense of loneliness. But often such feelings disappear, and relationships are restored over time.
- Possibility of a breakup. Not every relationship begins in order to last forever, so distance can be one of the reasons why such relationships cease to exist. Some relationships are not workable by themselves, so attempts to keep them at a distance prove their hopelessness.
How to Save Long-Distance Relationships?
This kind of relationship is extremely difficult and complex for both partners. Usually, people feel pain because they can’t be close to their loved ones. Especially it is difficult for those who have long-distance relationships in college because it is the separation for several years. The complexity here is about the fact that people are exhausted since the object of desire is far away. They lack warm words, support, hugs, and tender kisses. It is much more difficult to keep calm because it is impossible to explain and understand each other. But, of course, it is possible to cope with everything. And we have 7 tips on how to do it.
Stay in Touch
Don’t forget to regularly write and call your loved one. If both of you have Skype, you can see each other every day. Write short but informative messages and call every 2 hours. Invest in relationships so that the spark doesn’t fade away and interest doesn’t disappear. For example, look for some long-distance relationships birthday ideas that can be very unexpected. When a man and a woman are at a distance, misunderstandings happen 40% often. Unfortunately, over several days, communication will lose importance. This is logical since partners learn to live without each other. If you work a lot and physically can’t use Skype at any time, make a kind of schedule. Agree on that you will communicate every evening at 20:00, for example. Do you have a five-minute break at work? Nice! Call and say, “Hi!” Happiness is in the details, so surround yourself with them.
Talk about Sex
Of course, the main challenges for a couple who are in long-distance relationships are sex and everything connected to it. But you can do something to improve this situation, for example, you can exchange playful messages, send your hot photos, and so on. Remember that sexting is not some kind of “dirty entertainment.” It is the glue that will maintain your relationship and emotional nourishment that will help you survive the separation, including avoiding temptations and infidelity. But you can perceive the time of forced abstinence as a spiritual journey and the time of development of the sexual potential of your couple: learn to speak and write about your fantasies. You can develop an erotic language and vocabulary that will belong only to you two just texting every day.
If you are insincere just because you want to get out of the situation without a scandal or not to emotionally injure yourself or your partner, you should remember that the problem will not disappear. It will live somewhere in your head and may eventually explode as a manifestation of great anger directed at your partner. This, in turn, can easily lead to a chain of negative events, in comparison with which the initial reason seems insignificant. So, be honest with yourself and your partner. Show your feelings to your loved one whatever they are: fear, anxiety, loneliness, jealousy, apathy, and so on. But there is no need to complain, you just should share your emotions. Share information about current affairs and give your partner the opportunity to somehow support you.
Talk about Everyday Things
If it seems to you that you have absolutely nothing to talk about every day, stop making up talking points. Your task is to create the illusion that you are at arm’s length. Therefore, talk about the little things, which a couple living together can discuss, for example, household chores, work, the fact that a cat was hunting the vacuum cleaner, and so on. It will bring you much closer than talking about joint dreams and plans for the future. As an option, come up with long-distance relationships gifts from time to time and then talk about them. If your soulmate lives in another country, you, of course, will be very interested to find out how life is arranged there. But the less you ask about it, the better (if, of course, you are not going to move there) because over time, you will start associating the feeling of a completely alien world with a loved one. And they will also become a stranger.
Build Relationships on Trust
Remember that such relationships are impossible without mutual trust. Being away from each other, both of you will have a lot of temptations. Of course, the probability of betrayal increases. You should understand that you will only alienate your loved one if you show jealousy and control, provoking them to start a relationship with another person. Try to trust your soulmate. After all, trust is something that keeps every relationship, no matter whether you are in the same city or in different countries. And if your partner doesn’t value you so much, then maybe, in reality, they are not your fate. Remember that a truly loving person, satisfied with relationships, will never go to betrayal. And it is in your power to make a relationship meaningful even if you are at a territorial distance from each other.
Try to provide emotional support, look for online date ideas and make your communication warm. Be frank with your soulmate and tell about your feelings. Confirm your love with the desire to always come to the rescue and the ability to inspire when necessary. Indeed, in any difficult situation, it is always more valuable to feel the warmth and care of a loved one, not to get advice from a psychologist or other specialists. A supporting partner is a key to successful existing together and the development of relationships. The more lovers need each other, the stronger their love is. Do something together more often, starting with the first days of separation. For example, you can watch the same movie at the same time, read the same book or cook dinner together. The main thing is to share impressions and discuss emerging thoughts and feelings.
Loyalty and Devotion
Without devotion, there is no connection at a distance. Remain honest with yourself and your partner and don’t flirt with others. Don’t hide under the masks. Be sincere and share personal information. Sociologists have identified the connection between frequent communication via the Internet and the increasing confidence of partners. A distance increases people’s suspicion in terms of long-distance relationships cheating. Build trust and don’t give reasons for reproaches. Without loyalty, communication in such relationships is maintained only by people without moral principles. Don’t be like them, otherwise, why do you choose this person as your companion? You also should avoid temptations. Try not to communicate with new acquaintances of the opposite sex too close. Have you made a mistake? Tell your partner the truth. He or she has the right to know. The truth is important for a relationship.
So, what to do? First of all, discuss every detail with a partner. Think about what this relationship may lead to. If you live quite far apart and are not ready to make any compromises, then there probably will not be a common future. Or you can wait, and one of you will agree to move after some time. The most important thing is to conduct a dialogue and make some concessions for the sake of a loved one. If one of the partners is deeply unhappy, and another one doesn’t want to give in, then it is better to end the relationship. If everything suits both, then why not leave everything as it is and enjoy even if you see each other once in 3 months.
Yes, distance is a special test for both. The main thing is to understand that separation will change the nature of your communication. If you jointly find ways to compensate for the distance and learn how to cope with separation, then this period can become a new, sometimes very pleasant experience. Remember that difficulties arise in any relationship. It is important to learn how to cope with the arising difficulties together. Thus, you will be happy when you are together even if fate prepares a temporary separation for you.