You might think that you are in a perfect relationship, you have found a partner, who fits you in every single way that is possible, and nothing can spoil this paradise. However, you can never truly be prepared for being cheated on. While there are lots of factors (some of which are dependent on yourself alone) that directly affect the probability of you being cheated on, you can never know exactly what a person thinks or wants. You can never truly know a person because there’s always something hidden that you don’t know. But is there any way to predict infidelity in a relationship? How can you catch a cheater in the act? Let’s answer these and some other questions right now.
Why People Cheat?
First off, let’s answer the most important question, “Why do people cheat?” “Because they are not very smart,” is not the right answer. “It’s just a random occurrence,” isn’t the answer as well. The recent study has tried to say what exactly makes us cheat on our loved ones. According to the results, published in the Journal of Sex Research, there are six main reasons why people cheat on each other. And each of them, we warn you, is a little more complicated than you might have thought. Also, we would like to note that the study involved 495 people that are older than 20, each of whom was asked a series of questions. In particular, they had to tell whether they had ever cheated on their partners, and if so, why they had done it. Here are the results:
Lack of Love
After analyzing the data, the researchers came to the conclusion that the main reason why people decide to cheat is the lack of love. Moreover, if you think that the reason is the absence of love on the part of the one who does the cheating, then you are wrong. Almost 77% of respondents said that they no longer felt the love of their partner, and it was precisely this that made them seek if not for love, but at least for some tenderness from someone else. On the other hand, as Leigh Trescott, an expert on relationships, said in an interview with Bustle that it’s rather the cheater who no longer feels this love.
Perhaps our mating habits are more similar to animals than we thought. Because the second most common reason for cheating turned out to be that people “dreamed of a greater variety of sexual partners.” Researchers note that cheating, therefore, may not depend on the behavior of the partner at all. Because even in an ideal relationship, a future cheater may feel uncomfortable. The only thing that is important is to experience something new, and the quality of a relationship doesn’t really matter.
If you believe that in a relationship, one person always loves, and the second one accepts this love, then the first person is at a higher chance of cheating down the line. 44% of all people said that they felt little to no love from their partners, they had to find love somewhere else.
To Raise Self-Esteem
More than half of the respondents (57%) indicated a lack of self-confidence as a reason for cheating. The idea was to increase their self-esteem, to feel that they are able to like someone, to feel their sexuality. And especially often, as additional questions showed, this happened when there were some problems in a relationship with a regular partner.
As the data suggests, sometimes an act of cheating is caused by pure rage towards a permanent partner. 43% of respondents said that they had at least once cheated on their partners simply because they were angry with them. But in fairness, we note that in almost half of the cases, this anger was provoked by the partner’s own infidelity that had already taken place, thus, they reacted with cheating for cheating.
About a third of the research participants said that they had cheated on their partners because they just wanted to have sex. Interestingly, the overwhelming majority of respondents who chose sex as the main reason for infidelity were men. At the same time, women in this group wanted a “certain type of sex,” since the regular partner could not (or did not want) to give them those feelings that they needed in bed. Thus, they decided to find someone else to fulfill these fantasies.
Thus, and I don’t mean to justify cheaters by saying this, but they are human as well, and you should take a look into yourself and ask, “Is there anything wrong with me?”, “How can I become a better partner?”. It is easy to blame a person, but it’s a lot harder to understand them.
How to Catch a Cheater?
The important thing is to keep in mind before doing your investigative work that lots of people find themselves getting extremely paranoid over things like that, especially when there isn’t a lot of evidence to support such thoughts. You have to take care of yourself, you have to be mature and wise, analyze all the aspects of your relationship, do you enjoy it? Is it really worth wasting your time and energy on a person who may potentially cheat on you? I doubt. However, if you are sure that some work has to be done, we will help you with that. How to catch a cheater?
An Early Visit
Here’s a good way to catch a cheater. Plan a fictional business trip or a meeting with friends for yourself (it doesn’t matter what it is, you have to make it look like you will be absent for a long period of time), but in fact, you should come home earlier than your partner would expect. We do not recommend to go overboard, looking under the bed or inside the closet (you are not in a comedy), but there are lots of factors that will tell you whether your partner has cheated on you or not. Such a surprise will make it quite hard to hide away the lies.
Sex in a Car
First of all, you should pay attention to an ashtray, cigarette butts from other brands and other unusual objects. I advise you to either clean the ashtray every day or carefully look at its contents.
How to catch him cheating? Women’s hair tends to stick not only to jackets, sweaters, coats, but also to car seats (if they are, of course, not made out of leather), and it is difficult to get rid of it with an ordinary vacuum cleaner. You have to collect it by hand. The same can be said for men’s hair as well. So, if your partner doesn’t work as a taxi driver, these can be the signs of infidelity in your relationship.
You can also pay attention to the mats if your husband or wife travels alone, it is unlikely that mats, except for the driver’s one, will get dirty for any reason. The same goes for car washing, it has been done around once a month and now it’s getting washed every single day, it may suggest that your partner is washing away the dirt to impress the opposite sex, or for whatever other reason, but sudden changes in behavior like that cannot come unprovoked.
Your family car started breaking a lot as of late, which is draining money from the family budget. Yet, this may not be the case, and this money may be getting spent on a new partner.
How to Check Your Partner for Loyalty?
Via the Internet
Create a page a month before putting the plan to work, otherwise, an empty account will seem suspicious. Gradually add photos from someone else’s social network page as well as credible personal information that will be difficult for your partner to verify. Add some fake friends (it is not necessary to correspond with them, but you should have some friends listed on your page, you should look like a regular user). After some time, your account will be ready. You can start a conversation with your partner, start flirting with them, see whether it will be possible to seduce them.
In Real Life
To do this, you need a good friend, who obviously should not be directly interested in your partner. In order to make everything look plausible, use the following tips. Let the meeting happen in a relevant place (in a club, in an educational institution, at a bus stop, etc.). Prepare some information in advance, your friend should act normally, this should be a proper date. Not everyone will be bold enough to accept an offer like that, but a good friend will be glad to help you with something like that. Invent all the required data for your partner, look genuine, set your friend a goal to seduce your partner and wait for the results.
Computers and Mobile Devices
There are lots of different ways to catch a cheater in which you can use a phone or a pc.
Mobile phones have entered our lives not so long ago, but they can often be a good way of tracking a person. There are lots of programs, by using which you can track the location of your partner, look into their correspondence, spy on their camera, etc.
If your partner finds it hard to answer your calls, their phone’s battery constantly runs out and in general, it’s hard to get to them, there’s probably something fishy going on. Perhaps there is someone nearby, and a conversation with you is not possible at the moment. Take possession of your partner’s phone, see if any additional passwords are installed, why would they use something like that? Is there any need to use them? Maybe they are hiding something away from you.
The same applies to computers. If your partner is a proficient user, then it will be quite hard to get the information you need, there are lots of ways to hide away your correspondence.
Protect Your Bed
To protect your own bed, you have to keep an eye for small details. In addition to crumbs and other things left in bed, you also need to pay attention to your partner. People do not usually begin to kiss with a different rhythm and in a different way. Wives never begin to work wonders like first-class geishas. Thus, if any sudden positive change has come to your bedroom, this may be a sign of infidelity, and your partner is trying to make up for their mistakes. Yet it’s the same when it comes to a sudden lack of sex in your bedroom. You have to notice every major change, which happens in your intimate life. If your partner isn’t really as interested as they were before, then maybe they have already satisfied their needs with someone else. Lots of possible changes can occur, for example, a new preferred sex position, a different manner of kissing, uncharacteristic way of caressing. There’s another way of going about this, you can just outplay your potential rival, doing the best you can and eliminating any need of your partner to have someone else in their life.
To summarize, don’t get too overwhelmed with being a detective in this. If there is a real chance that your partner is cheating on you and you feel that, and your relationship has become something that you no longer enjoy, then maybe it’s worth just ending it altogether. Don’t waste your time on a person who doesn’t respect you or your patience. Remember that it’s not always a good idea to forgive relationship cheating, just move on with your life. Statistically speaking, people who cheat once don’t tend to change their ways.