There is a widespread conviction a man should always take the first step first. It is his job to charm a woman. Although humanity goes through emancipation, most ladies still want to be conquered by their male counterparts. But what if you are a guy who feels totally insecure about himself? Let’s try to discuss it all in brief.
Is shyness really a problem?
In my view, it is. No, I’m not talking about social anxiety disorder or any related issues, this is just about a certain quality any human being has. Yet the degree of shyness differs from one person to another. Some people fail to build a great career, to find love or feel happy merely because they tell themselves “I’m not worth”. If timidity blocks you from successful interaction and eats up your energy, something needs to be done about it. But why does this happen? Relying on my (and not only mine) experience, the most obvious reason is that you didn’t get enough attention and endorsement from your parents or they vice verse used to revolve around you. Of course, there may be other factors that impact your self-esteem. I want to tell you how to deal with your problem in 5 steps.
Work on your mindset. As you can see, shyness occurs due to psychological reasons, which means your way of thinking is the very first item to change. Your self-esteem mostly depends on how you perceive yourself, not on how others see you. Hence, to become a desirable partner for women, it is necessary to feel confident from inside out. People tend to exaggerate their flaws (as well as their strengths). Don’t focus on the former too much and think about perks you have instead. Do you know that shyness can also be cute? Not all women fall for brutal alpha males. Use this feature of your character in the right way by acting mildly romantic towards girls. Believe me, they are just human beings and they like the same things you do. Get out of your comfort zone step by step. One more technique I suggest you trying is to approach females that don’t attract you – this will help you train your skills and feel more secure.
Make up a plan. Once you’ve figured out what keeps you away from meeting girls, draw up a plan on how to improve your self-perception. Yes, this works! Write down your weak points and good qualities to see the balance. If it is hard to adequately estimate yourself, ask a best friend’s opinion and discover what your real strengths are. Such an analysis will help you understand what may attract female admirers to you. Next, decide how to use this all in practice. For example, change some of your lifestyle habits or redecorate your place to develop the taste for life. Do you have any talents? I’m sure you do. Take up new interesting hobbies to unleash your potential. All in all, think about how to organise your life to become more noticeable for ladies.
Try alternative forms of dating. If you find it too difficult to meet girls in traditional ways, there are formats to help reduce your inner pressure. The first is online dating that has a number of big pluses: you don’t have to approach women live, you always have time to plan out a dialogue and there are many candidates available for chatting. On the other hand, online conversations can’t give daters full impression about one another and there are thousands of weirdoes on the Internet. So if you prefer making real acquaintances, I advise you to have a look at speed dating. This is when singles gather at a special venue and have little talks in pairs. Such parties may be themed or non-themed. You have 3-7 minutes to communicate with each lady and find out if there is any connection between you two.
Develop your best qualities. Love and romance are often imagined as something given from above. My opinion is different: if you want to meet a decent partner, you must be worth something too. I’ve already spoken about the importance of constant self-growth. Now, it’s about one more significant factor – compatibility. A knowledgeable and many-faceted person easily resonates with almost anyone. Therefore, the richer your inner world is, the more nice girls get interested in you. I don’t encourage you to become a Don Juan unless this is your key purpose. I only recommend you working a lot to find common interests with women that evoke your emotions. The same goes for communication skills: they are essential for becoming irresistible.
Loosen up. There is another important rule to remember: people usually don’t think of you as much as you might imagine. Nor see they your flaws until you draw their attention to those. When you realise it, the world of dating is no longer menacing and intricate. But what to do with the fear of rejection? Take it as part of the game! Instead of getting depressed, think of what valuable experience each failure gives you. It’s pretty the same as making mistakes in school – you can’t properly learn anything without it. Speaking about your comfort zone expansion, I’d advise you to do it slowly. Choose settings where you feel comfortable for the beginning and assign more and more difficult tasks to yourself.
A few final thoughts
This article is aimed at helping you understand your worth. The biggest mistake you can make is to pretend to be someone else. Never compare yourself to others as there will always be guys who earn more, look better, possess greater qualities etc. Keep in mind sincerity is what makes female hearts melt: they want to see your mindfulness, they want to feel needed. So when you feel happy about who you are and get keen on a particular lady, she can’t remain indifferent to you. Everyone has complexes – me as well, and I must tell you: don’t fear them, work on them. You are unique and simply need to find your niche. I genuinely hope you will smoothly follow your path with this guide!